Am I a Pushover, or do I Love Him?
by Princess Darkcloud
Summary: For Pimpface. Well, my first attempt at something like this and it's not that great. ANYWAY: Butter's is subjected to rape by someone he considered a close friend. Will they fix things, or will whatever they have, or had, wind up in the gutter? Bunny


I have no excuse for my tariness, none that I'm willing to share with the world of Fanfiction anyway. I'm sorry this is so late, hun!

-PD

**Am I a Pushover or do I Love Him?**

I could hear the door slam through the music blaring in my headphones. I didn't have to turn around to know that it was Kenny who was standing in the hallway, he was probably scowling or something similar. I took a deep breath and stood up, making my way towards the bed, stripping off my clothes as I walked—he didn't have to tell me to anymore. I reached the edge of my bed and dropped my pants and briefs to the floor, stepping out of them and positioning myself on my bed, waiting. I could hear him fumble with his belt buckle as he approached me from behind. The zipper was undone and only moments later I could feel the hardened tip of his dick at my hole. He thrusts inside and I wince at the burning feeling of his dry cock pushing into my unprepared ass. He never bothered to concern himself with my personal comfort; oh no, this was all for him.

He was raping me, and I allowed it.

This was far from being the first time he's done this, not even the first time this week. It had become as regular to us as taco night at Clyde's house. He continued to thrust and I lay there like getting raped was perfectly normal for any teenage boy. He came inside me—he was a lot faster today, I noticed—and pulled out. He pulled his pants back up, buckled his belt, and left. I waited until I heard him get in his car and drive away, leaving me to clean up the mess he made.

I grabbed the towel I had used this morning and covered my lower half and made my way to the shower, making sure none of the cum that was leaking out my abused ass made it's way onto the carpet; I would've undoubtedly gotten grounded for soiling Mom's already ruined carpeting. I turned on the shower and thought back to when this had all started, something I hadn't done in a while.

()o()o()–**3 Months Prior**–()o()o()

"_See ya later fellas!" I waved to Stan and Kyle as we parted ways from school._

"_Bye Butters."_

"_Later Butters."_

_I turned around to head back to my house. I pulled out my iPod and placed the buds in my ears, humming happily to the loud music that bombarded my ears. I was about halfway home when a hand clasped my shoulder. I almost fell to the ground with surprise and whipped my head around—ouch, my neck—to see a panting Kenny behind me._

"_You walk really damn fast…" He said with a smile. "Had to run to catch up with ya."_

"_Oh, hey Kenny! Whatchya doin here? Ain't your house the other way?"_

"_Yeah, but I wanted to hang with you."_

_I gave him a look._

"_Alright, truth is I wanted to talk with you. I didn't want to talk to Stan or Kyle cause it's just gonna be a bunch of 'I-told-you-so's. Which I guess it's kinda true, but I just want some sympathy right now."_

"_At least you're honest." I remarked. He was probably talking about his trashy girlfriend, but judging by the context I believe I could safely say 'ex-girlfriend.' But I asked anyway, "So what's the matter?"_

"_It's…my girlfriend." Knew it. "We were gonna have sex during Chemistry," I stifled a chuckle. Typical, perverted Kenny. "but she was already having sex with some other guy when I got to the bathroom. Which is __**totally**_ _fine by me, but when I tried to get in for a three-way," I couldn't contain my snort of laughter at that and he gave me an incredulous look before continuing, "she just told me to get a clue and get lost. I still have a freakin hard-on…"_

_I tried to make myself look and sound more serious, but no matter how you looked at it, it was totally fake, but he didn't seem to mind. "I'm sorry Ken, do you wanna come over to my place, and you can…'do with it what you will.'"_

"_Whaddya mean?"_

"_oh, uh...You can uh j-jack-off a-at my place."_

_Kenny seemed almost surprised at what I was saying. Probably thinking something like: naïve, sheltered, easily manipulated _Butters_ is suggesting something like _this_? What has the world come to?_

"_Sure." And in silence, we made our way back to my house._

_-.-.-_

_He was sitting on my bed when I came back from the bathroom with a box of tissues in my hands. "Here you go." He looked at them for a second before tossing them away and standing up, wincing at the friction in his pants I'm sure. "What's the matter?"_

"_Don't need them." He unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his pants, it looked like it was _really _uncomfortable. He grabbed my shoulders and shoved me onto the bed. He straddled my hips and pinned my arms above my head with one of his gargantuan hands. He slipped his belt off with one hand and tied my hands together with it._

"_Wh—What the hell are you doing!?" The tip of his dick gently brushed against the exposed skin of my stomach where my shirt had ridden up. _

"_What's it look like, Butters?" He flipped me over so I was on my stomach and pulled me back so I was on my hands and knees....or elbows and knees really... I could feel his rigid cock against my butt and he thrust and ground himself against me. "Get it now?" He reached around and started fumbling with the button of my pants. My mind suddenly clicked and I realized what would happen if I didn't do something; not that I had the time to. He pulled down my pants and kissed my asshole with his damp cock head. I whimpered and tried to squirm away. I didn't care if he wanted to have sex with me, but this was all wrong. _

"_Kenny," He held my hips in a vice grip to keep me from moving, "puh-please don't do this."_

"_You're gonna wanna relax or this'll hurt like hell." He pushed his saliva-coated dick into me and I saw stars. Not the good kind, the kind you get when you're hit on the back of the head with a 2 by 4. _

"_Aaah! Ah-aaa!" My cries of pain seemed to only turn him on; I could feel his dick harden even more, stretching my violated hole._

"_Nnh, good thing I—ah—slicked myself. God you're—nngh—fucking tight."_

_I couldn't respond intelligibly, only through cries of pain and pathetic whimpers. My own length was starting to harden. I wasn't sure why, cause I knew I wasn't turned on by this. He pounded into me harder than before and he dug his nails into my hips, hurting me more. He started breathing heavily and before I knew it I was filled with his come. I gave one last drawn out whine as he pulled out of me._

"_You should go shower. Uh, see ya tomorrow Butters." I didn't start crying until Kenny had put his pants back on and was out the door. I slid off the my bed and I could see the blood and drying come that had started dripping down around to the front of my thighs. I could feel my fury boiling and my tears fell hard and angry. I stood up, but promptly crumbled to the floor; the pain in my ass and lower back kept me from standing and I felt fresh blood run down my legs. Something in my mind snapped and all my emotions were gone. No more anger, no more pity, no more hate. I just got up, ignoring the pain, and walked to the shower._

()o()o()–**Present**–()o()o()

And I'd been that way ever since. It was as if Kenny had pulled my emotions out along with his softening dick that day he'd first raped me. Luck for me I stood out about as much as a grain of sand on a forgotten beach. No one noticed, but that was ok. I didn't want anyone to know. The knobs squeaked as I shut off the water. I tied the towel around me and returned to my room. When I opened the door, Kenny was sitting on my bed with his hands clasped between his legs and his head hung, an angry scowl twisted his face.

"K-Kenny?" A thin thread of emotion weaved its way back into the empty loom that was my broken heart. He looked up at me, the scowl instantly disappearing. I don't know what changed in him during the past 30 minutes since I last saw him, but he looked about as broken as I should have felt.

"Butters..." He got up from the bed and hurried over to me. I closed my eyes and toughened my resolve...just to be crushed...by a bear hug.

"H-Huh?" Kenny's nails were digging into the bare skin of my back and I hissed. He instantly dropped his hands and pulled away. He looked down at the floor and ran a hand through his hair.

"Butters, I—" He took a deep breath, "Butters, I'm sorry."

I blinked. Twice. And I felt my pushover nature seep through, and almost without thinking I stared to mumble an acceptance "Wuh-Well, it's oka—"

"No! It's not fucking _'okay!'" _He looked mad now. "Butters, I fucking _**raped**_ you and you're gonna try and tell me that it's fucking **okay!?**" He grabbed me by the shoulders and glared down at me, but when I looked in his eyes he looked like he was gonna cry. "You shouldn't forgive me so damn easily! I used you and abused you for my own fucking selfish needs!"

"Kenny, I—"

"I gotta go."

And with that, Kenny left me in my room. But when he left, I didn't numbly go about my business. I sat down on my floor and cried. I cried for Kenny, I cried for myself, and every reason I should have cried for in the past however long it'd been. But through the tears, I remember pulling on my shirt, and running out the door, and after the puff of exhaust from Kenny's old truck.

I ran the entire way to his house. Exhausted, I caught my breath outside his door and prepared to go inside. Opening the door, I was met with the smell of mildew and week old pizza. I could hear gentle sobs through one of the paper thin walls and followed it. I was pretty sure this qualified as breaking and entering.

"Kenny?" I called experimentally. "Kenny please come out. I'm not mad, I swear!" He stopped crying the second I called his name, but I still knew where he was. Standing outside his door, I continued talking to him. "I'm not totally sure why you did what you did, and I'm not going to say you didn't hurt me, cause that's a lie and lyin's no good. But I want you to know I don't hate you. You're a good guy Kenny. You're just a really horny guy that makes mistakes some times. So..." My little heartfelt speech wasn't going how I'd planned, and it sounded awful rehearsed, but I couldn't think of anything else that would reassure him.

But what I said must have worked cause he opened the door. He did his 'cool guy pose' against the doorframe, but the effect was totally lost when I saw how red his eyes were. I don't think he'd stopped crying since he'd left my place.

"You're a good guy, Butters. But you can't trust everyone."

"I sure as heck don't trust everyone. But I trust you, Kenny. And I know you didn't enjoy this as much as you let on."

He sighed.

"I don't know what's going through your mind right now, and that's ok, cause I'm not sure I want to know, but...I think it'd be ok if we were friends again."

He smiled a little, "I think I can do that, but...I might want to be more than friends one day."

He ruffled my hair and I couldn't help but smile, "I think that'd be ok too."

**The End**

**Author's Note**

What is this shitty story!? I surely didn't write it .

-PD


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